First Baby StuffThe first baby accessories
While pregnant, some pregnant woman found that her baby had a handicap or a hereditary disease." A few wives chose to continue because they knew that their baby would probably not live. During a 20-week scanning, a woman found that her baby had a hiatal hernias, a state in which the muscles that normally keep the stomach separated from the lung did not develop well.
Lung cannot normally expand and this can sometimes lead to death for the baby, as was the case in this case. Questioning age: Feminine background: Anthropological Background' Whit British. OLDER TED: And I recall going to my scanner and laying down and looking at the monitor, and I just grinned because I was so nervous, you know, seeing my baby.
There was only me and the sonograph in the room, and it took her a long while to scan me. "And she said, "Yeah, I think your baby has a hiatal hernia," which I didn't know what it was. A further fourteen -year-old woman who had tried to get pregnant found that her baby had a genetically abnormal condition, which means he was unlikely to be alive.
Being a Muslim, she would not consider abortion and was hoping for a wonder, but the baby was born dead in the 24th week of gestation. Questioning age: Feminine background: Children 1, 7 month old at the date of the interviews. British Muslim ethnical backdrop. Hydroscephalus was one of the condition, and a few others they called it, a kind of liquid around the lung and behind the throat, which is the hydrophalus.
Baby has been fully molded, but he can't be alive, he can't, he can't, can't, can't go, can't full time. Even if it went full time, the baby would only be alive for maybe a few weeks at birth and that was it. So I had the baby on Sunday, January 13.
It was because I, because the baby grew normally by having two limbs, two feet and a baby having a baby having a baby head that it was the other issues that were genetical issues. Simply to be, to feel that the baby movement is sufficient to keep me going, but it, the baby always kicked like everything else, and that just kept me going.
" In fact, we were even considering taking the path of adopting, and so we were considering it at the forefront. Life with the knowing that the baby would probably not live, made gestation very stressing for these mother, with moment of expectation blended with sorrow and expectation of the worse.
Because she wanted to be cared for like any other expectant mother, she did not tell many men about the diagnose, but also knew that her experiences were very different from those of other mother. See also 38 regarding the prenatal screening position. Questioning age: Feminine background: Anthropological Background' Whit British. I mean, I don't have it - you know all the things that humans, girls, normally care about when they're expecting, like, you know, how much emphasis they put on, and if they get stretch marks, and if the delivery will be different, long and hard and hurtful, and how they will deal with a weeping baby - all those things.
You know, I listen to a woman talking about her concerns about giving birth and I just think, "Just be lucky, you're gonna have a baby, it's nothing," you know? Questioning age: Feminine background: Anthropological Background' Whit British. And you know, just to have security all the while and know exactly where he was and what he was doing and so on.
At first I chose not to tell my oldest brothers and girlfriends because they were about to have a baby. But, generally, I didn't tell anybody. I don't want anybody to ask me all the while. They knew that their baby had a cardiac abnormality, but until his birth they could not tell how serious it was.
Questioning age: Feminine background: Children 2 years, 2 years and 8 month at the date of the interviews. Anthropological Background' Whit British. So, what was it like to go through gestation with this anxiety that something might come to him after the baby is delivered? Hypoplasty is more serious in the number of surgeries, the risk to the baby and the coarctation of the coronary artery, and is considered by the cardiologist to be something that is relatively easily corrected, and, okay, there are certain risk factors, but they are smaller than the other.
The hardest thing for me was not to know what we had in front of us, really, really to have to do frequent scanning every three or four months, so every times I did a scanning I would remember that we didn't really know what we had in front of us, that something serious was going on, and I tried to get rid of it between times, and I did it quite well.
However, the actual scanning was almost always under my eyes, crossed my finger and hid the fact that I crossed my finger and was really believing, like pressing my finger as if it would help, you know, of course it won't help, but it kind of did help me.
Thumbs crossed that it was a coarctation and not a hypoplasty cardiac anomaly. When he was conceived, he actually had a smaller side on the smaller side of the side of the left side of his chest, but in the case of hyperplastic cardiac insufficiency, the side on the smaller side of the chest does not really work, and so it has to be circumvented or they have to perform surgery to make the chest work in a completely different way than one would expect, and in coarctic surgery, one really speaks of more sheet metal work, where one has to expand the orta.
Has that, you know, the horrible fear of having to wait to find out what would be happening to your baby put it, what kind of effect has it had on your relation to your man? I know from other people's experiences that it can work differently, but for us it was a lot, we somehow hung together like humans floating on a float at the seas.
Maybe I think the exeption was the first week-end where I did one thing that did a lot of research, and he did the other thing that did a lot of really bury his face in the sands. There was a decision by one lady that she would rather not know if her baby had Down's disease than run the chance of an abortion through amniotization.
They felt under duress to have the pregnancy test; it seemed that everyone thought having a baby with Down would be a bad thing. Helping to reach other homes with Down's disease patients who had a fulfilled and happier life. Questioning age: Feminine background: Kids 1, 2 years old at the date of the interviews.
Anthropological Background' Whit British. Have you, was there a point where you said to them, "I don't want this, because whatever baby I have, I'm going to want it, so there's no point in me doing more screening"? I guess it's a face-to-face awareness of what you're doing, but I mean, I guess, just like what I now know about Down's disease, it's like they're not telling you any of the positives about Down's disease before you have the testing, it's just, "Well",
That is something that can cause educational difficulties', and obviously there is a cliché in what that means to humans, but there is no information at all available at this point, while I would say that there are now a lot of good things about the birth of a baby with Down-Syndrome.
So, by suggesting that it's such a bad thing, and that it's such a terrible thing, that it's rewarding to take a break from amniotic fluid testing, it's [pause] to multiply the sigma that's already there about a medicinal state. Cause that' s what they say is: "We have weighed the risks against the risks of abortion through amniotic fluid testing, so the compromise is the same as a deceased baby," which is just like that, you know what I don't really consider really good, or that it's an good thing that as a community we should say that someone with a handicap, his whole lifetime is nothing.
Cause it' almost so far at this early state and there are many good things about disabled persons and I guess that after the birth of [daughter], the birth of my own girl, there is also a great deal of help available for her and I am actually very amazed at the amount of, you know, good help and assistance or whatever she could get when she needs it and I think that should probably be made clear at an early state.
Now I mean, I guess I could take the stand that I think humans should be able to do the testing if they want it, but I would see it as a pretty fascistic thing to get rid of a baby just because it has a certain level of handicap, but it goes into all kinds of ethics, a complex ethics field about, you already know what the value of a lifetime is, and why is one, you know, even if someone's lifetime, I mean, with Down-Syndrome is their life expected, but that's not the case with the Down-Syndrome.
Questioning age: Feminine background: Children 1, 2 years old at the date of the interviews. Anthropological Background' Whit British. Well I have to say I think that most humans will be a little sensible about it, but I certainly let one individual say: "Oh, you haven't done an amniotic fluid test, and you're a physician for general health" with surprising results, as if I should have done it, but I mean, I'm sure there are other folks who think that and know not to say it.
And I think that's something I find somewhat complicated because I know a lot of folks who are, some folks think they should try to raise the rates of folks who have testing and screening, and I don't believe they really know the magnitude of the choices that are involved.
The point, I think, is that you should have a good perspective on disabled persons [pause] and that if humans would go the way of screenings and dismissal of a baby, I think that would be justifiable if humans affected would have opinions that they did not think at all they would like the baby or not get along with a disabled baby,
unlike just "we want a design baby that's perfect," which seems like it, it seems to be the concept that something like this is pushing it as far as possible - if it is, if it's not perfection, it's not good. It' s a little different because you have got your medicinal record of preterm survivors, some of whom are very handicapped, and that is, I mean, the preterm survivors are definitely a record, with some handicap, but a baby with Down could be a lot less affected, and yet they say that this is something that this lifetime might not be livable, so we think statistics show that it's a good thing that you should do something about it.
Questioning age: Feminine background: 1, 2 years old child at the moment of interviews. Anthropological Background' Whit British. I took her with me to the - there is a mom, there is a mom and baby group for the Down boys, very close to where I am living, so I took her with me when she was maybe, I don't know, maybe three or four month old, so I went to the others, the older Down boys, so they were guys up to about 5, and that was really very useful because those other guys were just walking around like normal guys.
And I think I recall that I was just lying totally on the floor, that she went to dance class and that a kid with Down could do that. Presumably I recall that one of them said to me how she had an amniotic fluid test and the doctor said to her that they could get rid off that issue and that she had just said, "This is a baby.
I mean the folks who have Down's babies, the folks who accept them pretty well from their babies, and they all come from, you know, there are some younger moms there, some older ones, and there are some from obviously weaker or better off background, so - I mean, I guess you bring the folks there who are somehow better off or whatever, but, you know, they all just adore their babies, the folks did well and did well with their brother and sister, and they did well with their brother and sister, and they all come from, you know, there are some younger moms there, some older ones, and there are some from obviously better off or better off background, so - I mean, I guess you bring the folks there who are somehow better off or whatever, but, you know, they all adore their child, the folks did well and did well with their brother and sister.
And, of course, you learn from the other parent what kind of question you need to ask, who should come to you, if you can get a logopedist and what they should do. It has been said to one of the mothers that her baby has tubular silicosis, a hereditary disease that causes tumors in many different organ types.
It was difficult to endure to see other humans with infants afterwards. Questioning age: Feminine background: Children'1, 11 month old at the date of the interviews. White European ethnical backgrounds. Only when I was about 22 week old did I have a scanner and then they found that the baby had a very big tumor in his breast.
At this point we were first directed to a cardio specialist to see what the baby's cardiac output would look like for the remainder of the baby's gestation, and then to a genetics specialist. For example, the cardio specialist said that he was not 100% sure that the baby would actually live through the entire gestation and especially childbirth.
Let's say I kept the baby. First we wanted to keep the baby, but she got, gave us a very sorry, you know, descriptive, what his state was and - what we did not know at all.
So, in a way, we were waiting and the deadline in England is 24 to have a resignation, so I was about 22.5 or something when I found that it was a pretty busy one. There was a choice to be made, so I approached the club for this gene dysfunction, I spoke to a woman who had a baby, and you know that I was just trying to get a glimpse of what it would be like.
I didn't know it then, so I had to deliver the baby, and all that, so it was a very, very hard one. However, we did everything to actually do it, you know - we just didn't want to leave it behind somehow and say that it didn't happen.
So, what we did, we had the baby baptized, in the infirmary, we took some photos of him and we said good-bye and all that, so, you know, it was a way to help us really grieve and not just act like, you know, it was nothing. Afterwards, I was kind of in a depressive state.
I had about six month not to work and just got disbelieved in my own lives, actually for a while. Questioning age: Feminine background: Children'1, 11 month old at the date of the interviews. White European ethnical backgrounds. And what also worked was to have a kitty because when I came out of the infirmary with empty hands and I felt that I had just abandoned my baby there and I had so much to give and I didn't, you know - I needed something too small and cosy to give my baby to.
She was our little baby, so it's a little place in our heart, and that was beautiful, that was also beautiful to have it. It was the hardest thing when we got out of the infirmary because I got out of motherhood and you know, there were all these pairs with their baby cars and something like little buggies and then I had nobody, you know?
I felt really empty, empty in my belly and empty in my hearts and empty in my hand, and I thought, "Where is my baby? A friend of mine said to me, "Probably what you had is the most horrible thing in a way, because even if you have a stillbirth, it's horrible and everything, but you don't make the decision, the decision is made for you.
" It said, "For you you had to make the choices, and that's probably the toughest of all things, because you're the one making them" - and even in a way, my man made the choices, well, by saying he didn't want to keep the baby. She said that often enough, a parent who has had a baby with a hereditary disorder must find out as much as possible about its cause and whether it would occur again.
Questioning age: Feminine background: Gemini of children who were 3 years old at the date of the interviews. Anthropological Background' Whit British. She told us that I have a tranlocation, which means that parts of my chromosomes are actually reversed and there is nothing wrong with me unless I try to have a baby.
That baby I was wearing at that point, I probably would have been about 25 months gestating, I was a little bit behind to do the 20-week long test because it wasn't off the shelf. You felt that the baby, the baby, had hydrophalus, which you could tell from the scans. Obviously you will get off the airplane because you are not, it is not, if you get knocked up and want to have a baby, think about what this lifetime will look like and the baby you will have.
Now I have two kids, I know it's not what you want, but you - well, I think, is what you want, is what most folks would say. We wouldn't have a by far unhealthy baby.
A baby should be given to us who would have passed away soon after giving birth, suffering from a severe disability, no one could say if she had been given birth painfully, no one could ever find out. "I, that was my first ask to the genetics man, "Will it ever again?" and she immediately said "no."
I think I just got this: "Oh, this is it, next one will be all right. Questioning age: Feminine background: Children'1, 11 month old at the date of the interviews. White European ethnical backgrounds. "Well, I was, let's say, very down, but at the same I said to myself: "At least we know why this is happening and we can begin from there.
Well if we don't know it and you are losing your baby and you don't have a diagnose or something, then you just don't really know why, but I think it's kind of like it somehow said to me that there's a cause for all this and it's not my guilt as a girl because I actually felt very much sorry.
and you know, in fact, it's actually like that that it's said to me, no, you know, you didn't do anything wrong, you know. Questioning age: Feminine background: Gemini of children who were 3 years old at the date of the interviews. Anthropological Background' Whit British. Personally we had to go to the geneticist's practice and she said that the baby was pregnant again, that the baby would have several disabilities and I felt like I was going to fall.
I had made a deliberate choice this once to get pregnant because I knew there was a 50/50 hazard and it was happening again. At the same as we had one after 26 week, we had entered into this knowledge that CVS (Chorionic villi sample) probably had a good chances that it would come to a further one.
And anyway, she was again amazed that we wanted to get things going so quickly - didn't we want to go home and have enough free space to deal with the newscast? Following the cardiac tract injury of her first baby, a woman became depression-stricken and felt that more help was needed for the psychological and psychological well-being of pregnant mothers.
Questioning age: Feminine background: Children 2 years, 2 years and 8 month at the date of the interviews. Anthropological Background' Whit British. That is why I think it is important for human beings to know what is going on with them so that they can find out how best to deal with it. I really think that there has to be a proactive system for a woman who goes into a second gestation after having had a very sick first baby, or who actually thinks of my other boyfriends, anyone who has had a dream delivery.
Anyone who has had a dream delivery will be very worried about the delivery, the second day, and there is, I think, a boyfriend of mine who has had a dream delivery who is probably not very interested in having a second baby right now.