Shopping for new BabyBuying for new baby
In 2017 I stopped shopping - that's why I'm going on like this.
New Year' s Eve 2016, half an hours before noon, was the last time I ever purchased anything to put on. she' d mention the store where she had purchased it and link to the website. Well, I haven't been shopping in forever. Well, I didn't go in any of my old dresses, and I earned one of those... didn't I?
It was last year's cash. When I thought about how happy I was, how fortunate; the luxuries of taking care of a little baby and still being able to afford to pay as I wished. They had seen my dressing rooms full to the brim with clothes, periwigs and shawls; they had listened to me screeching with agitation, rummageing through fundraisers and junkales.
They had searched the track I had pulled into the attic, completely stuffed with vinyl clothes. I felt bizarre having so much when the humans around me had so little. When I was a maid of honor at my brother's marriage in March, I was supposed to be wearing a Neckholder All-in-One (a real dare when you have to breastfeed).
On a particularly hard November morning, I would spend 15 pounds on a flowergo gown to brighten myself up, but I felt so culpable when the parcel came that I sent it back home without opening it. Deciding to stop shopping was helping me use the cash I would have once been spending on clothing for more meaningful purposes.
I' ve got a lot to carry in 2018. Now that my year ends without shopping instead of being dizzy with joy, I've put together a checklist of things I "need": new denim (my survival couple is full of holes), sneakers (the food is torn away), an undergarment.
Because what has more than anything else been teaching me this year is that I really don't want clothes and footwear, but want to hang out with my children and continue to write.