Things we need for a Baby

Stuff we need for a baby.

Subway News Maternity and birth are enigmatic and wondrous things - but if you haven't had a child yet, you'll probably base that wisdom on soap and movies. You' probably expect a drama, blood work (perhaps with several would-be dads resisting in the labor room) before you return a few nights later to your 10 inch rack and go into the setting sun.

To get us all into a more precise image, a weblogger from Hertfordshire and an expert baby pushedher has created a funny little game. Benjamin Pope, who is blogging under the name Mummy Mumbles, has posted a 20 things you "need to know when you've just shoved a baby out," which describe in detail what it's like to get your first baby pole and how gloomy it can be to remain in there.

It begins with the warnings that you get "after pain" after giving birth. What do you mean? You' re not having another baby. But just think about the big thing you pressed out of the front part, and the chance to push out what's in the back part won't be quite as discouraging. Boy?s little fingernails are the height of whole nut lashes, but her dick has the height of nuts on the top that nobody wants.

Apparently the meal is so terrible that Bekki says a peach and blancmange taste like "hot pee-pee with a dash of mother's breast milk, plus the pieces of peach are parts of the human organism that have been drenched in sugars overnight". Nobody told me about all this when I had my first physical baby, and those motherfuckers knew it!

Beeki has also created a follow-up table titled "20 things to know the next morning after a baby leaves". This includes things like the use of chest cushions, the fact that neonates actually have really hot, long fingernails, and the fact that you want to have everything and everyone in view.

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