What things to Prepare for Newborn BabiesHow do I prepare for newborns?
Preparation for a baby after loss - MORI
One of the most disastrous and heart-rending events in a person's lifetime is the death of a newborn. If you become pregnant again after having given up a newborn, it is often hard to prepare for another infant if you are afraid of the past. Michelle, from Dear Orla, told us how she began to prepare for her daugther Esme after she had previously sacrificed another one.
Already during my gestation with Orla, my first-born, I hesitated a little to buy things to prepare for her coming. Perhaps it was because my first gestation ended suddenly after 6 months. However, for whatever reasons, I was slowly setting things up. Their daycare center was almost completed with 36 weeks, and this weekend we bought some newborn dresses.
When I got 37 months pregnant, every little bit of it was rinsed and dried, and then I put it in my pocket prepared to go to the clinic. That night I had to grab one of those clothes and take it to the infirmary. Unfortunately, that was the date we learned that our little girl had passed away.
Infants who are in good health, who are supported by pregnant and pregnant women, who do "everything right", can be killed without notice and for no obvious reason. Never could anything prepare you for the shocks and pains of loosing your babies, especially at the end of a trouble-free mother. but I knew these things would do.
If your infant dies on the night of your death, will they be fully delivered? After a long and emotional birth, our little girl Orla was conceived two working years later. Dressing her in the one suit we had grabbed (which was far too big for her little physique - I was sure I would have a giant baby!).
It was heartbreaking to be around the screams of other newborns and see them arrive with ballons and presents. At home many folks put everything away - the children's room, the clothing, the automobile seats and the baby carriage. Even though we couldn't take Orla home, she was still our little girl and will always be an important part of our life.
During these first few days I enjoyed being in her bedroom and touched all the things that were bought or given to us with such affection. When we found out that we were again expecting, we knew that this room and these belongings would be divided with our second child, as well as the usual and anticipated processes of your growth: the only distinction is that everything stayed idle and untouched.
When I found the preparation for Orla's coming hard, the preparation for Esme's was more emotional. Hardly believable that we would take home our own babies. All the days of this gestation were full of fear. Each calm instant lead to a place in my head that was black, full of thoughts that this little girl had also passed away.
Every moment that went by was a moment that our little girl had lived through - and one that I had too. Nobody can prepare you for the extreme challenges of post-loss gestation, and I have nothing but the highest regard and the greatest wonder for every pair that has tolerated it.
However, only now can I really appreciate these things by buying dresses, games, blankets and shells. Daily selection of apparel that Esme can choose to dress for the event. Although our lives will always be sad and full of "What if?", it is something very different for us when Esme shares the room of her big brothers and sister and owns property.
Orla stops near us and shows the whole planet that we are a four-person familiy. Read more about Michelle's history and how to cope with the bereavement of a baby in her Dear Orla blogs.